Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Oh, the Irony

You'll get a giggle out of this.

Today was J's first day back to high school after summer vacation and he almost got himself suspended. Yeah. That's what I said.

Now, let's see if you can figure out what the big offense was.

Here's a photo.

No, he didn't bring the dog to school. And no, he didn't wear his ipod to class (if you noticed the dangling earphone cord).

It's his hair.

During summer vacation he lightened it (guilty). But even after he did it I could hardly tell. I mean if he'd spent all summer at the pool it would have gone much lighter anyway. My hair would go all sorts of blond in the summer as I guess happens to a whole lot of people. Not in Japan, mind you.

So his first day back to school and the other students were all pointing and whispering behind his back all day long. Poor kid was so nervous he couldn't even eat lunch. No one would come near him because they were afraid they'd get in trouble by association (Side Note: I taught him the word "pariah").

Then the teachers started laying into him. I told him to mention the "it lightened in the sun" if anyone asked and he did, but he said that just made them angrier and more screamy. Toward the end of the day he was saying things like, I had a bad dream and woke up and it was like this. Boy, that set them off even more.

So what is absolutely ridiculous is they demanded he dye it back.

I was ticked off. My first plan was to bring in all his childhood photos that I would scatter about the office showing his hair color (no, I didn't dye it from age zero) and demand apologies.

Hello! People. Get a clue. Not black.

But Plan A had two flaws. 1) It would piss off every teacher in the school and his life would be hell from now on, and 2) he actually did dye it, or lighten it so we're not free from guilt. (Although seriously, his hair lightened was still darker than the above photo. Which is too light by school laws.)

So J and I discussed it, discussed the wording the teachers used and came up with Plan B.

Plan B is he dyed it as they'd asked. But instead of some medium brown like it had been before he went jet black. Beetle black.

Elvis Presley black.

Thank you very much!

So today he went to school with extremely black hair. What they want but very obviously not his natural color.

...and he'll probably get in trouble for that too.