Saturday, September 13, 2008

Oh, Poop!

Almost one year ago I wrote this--a post about the earthquake that will end all earthquakes, the one that is supposed to occur right under my feet. (And if I'm to believe the rumor mill at the junior high school, it's supposed to happen some day this week.)

If there is one thing that has been learned from past earthquakes here in Japan, it is that preparation and good sense really do save lives and prevent nasty episodes of wide spread panic and rioting. The above post was mostly about one of the ingenious methods the city was using to attempt to spread useful information to the people: messages printed on toilet paper. For every couple of squares of TP there were printed pictures of emergency kits and what you should include in them, or maybe some information about how much bottled water per household member should be prepared. The basics.

This year the powers-that-be went and outdid themselves.

Last Sunday we had a local Sport's Day where everyone in our area participates in various outdoor events for fun and small awards. J and I pulled our weight at tug of war (lost brilliantly!), but we did get two rolls of toilet paper for our efforts.

This year's toilet paper takes surviving an earthquake to the next level. I mean what can you possibly teach a bunch of evacuees who already have their tent, their required 2.5 liters of water per person/per day and a working radio?


(Those with weak stomachs may want to avert their eyes.)

I remember having to attend several Elimination Observation classes while I was pregnant with my son. I thought it was a tad disturbing the amount of time and energy (and specialized teachers) devoted to the art of BM watching. But then again what better sign to judge what the inside of our bodies are thinking? Especially an infant who can't tell you garlic-tinted breast milk gives him a tummy ache.

I'll pretend no one needs a translation of the above. Basically, it's about stress and the amount of water consumed and the (ahem) end result.

Speaking of stress, there are still more lessons to be learned from my new TP roll. How about the relaxing and healthful past time of shiatsu/massaging pressure points on the foot? Not sure what points do what? Just tear off a square and have at it!

Now, if you are still constipated, stressed out and feeling blue don't worry. A little farther down the roll and we have the piece de resistance--aromatherapy for evacuees! The instructions are simple, they tell you to fill a bucket with hot water, add a couple drops of various essential oils and soak your feet. Lavender if you have trouble sleeping, chamomile to help relieve your worries, or rosemary and jasmine to wake you up and make you feel great.

Now, I only have to remember to add essential oils to my emergency escape bag along with the batteries, flashlights, first aide kit, toothbrushes, ...