Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Oh, the Irony

You'll get a giggle out of this.

Today was J's first day back to high school after summer vacation and he almost got himself suspended. Yeah. That's what I said.

Now, let's see if you can figure out what the big offense was.

Here's a photo.

No, he didn't bring the dog to school. And no, he didn't wear his ipod to class (if you noticed the dangling earphone cord).

It's his hair.

During summer vacation he lightened it (guilty). But even after he did it I could hardly tell. I mean if he'd spent all summer at the pool it would have gone much lighter anyway. My hair would go all sorts of blond in the summer as I guess happens to a whole lot of people. Not in Japan, mind you.

So his first day back to school and the other students were all pointing and whispering behind his back all day long. Poor kid was so nervous he couldn't even eat lunch. No one would come near him because they were afraid they'd get in trouble by association (Side Note: I taught him the word "pariah").

Then the teachers started laying into him. I told him to mention the "it lightened in the sun" if anyone asked and he did, but he said that just made them angrier and more screamy. Toward the end of the day he was saying things like, I had a bad dream and woke up and it was like this. Boy, that set them off even more.

So what is absolutely ridiculous is they demanded he dye it back.

I was ticked off. My first plan was to bring in all his childhood photos that I would scatter about the office showing his hair color (no, I didn't dye it from age zero) and demand apologies.

Hello! People. Get a clue. Not black.

But Plan A had two flaws. 1) It would piss off every teacher in the school and his life would be hell from now on, and 2) he actually did dye it, or lighten it so we're not free from guilt. (Although seriously, his hair lightened was still darker than the above photo. Which is too light by school laws.)

So J and I discussed it, discussed the wording the teachers used and came up with Plan B.

Plan B is he dyed it as they'd asked. But instead of some medium brown like it had been before he went jet black. Beetle black.

Elvis Presley black.

Thank you very much!

So today he went to school with extremely black hair. What they want but very obviously not his natural color.

...and he'll probably get in trouble for that too.



Six of Seven said...

F the school and their stupid hair policy. What if it HAD been sun-bleached, as happens to many, many people?! Screw 'em. Grow up already, Japan!

Hilary said...

So I guess a little electric blue streak is out, eh?

Jeff Harris said...

Yikes....I feel like that sort of thing is out of the 1950s in the Deep South of the U.S. Quite a cultural divide these days. I guess my question to the teachers is "what was the harm in a different hair color or style, anyway?

Jim Melvin said...

Unbelieveable. Makes me want to send in the Tugars to whup some ass.

Kappa no He said...

Six, yeah, I'm usually pretty good at figuring out why certain rules are the way they are but this one is just mean.

Hilary, oh! he's really wanting color. We've discussed electric blue and he's all, cool! Poor guy's getting depressed by all this (me too), so sometimes when he's in a good mood we'll talk about fun things he can do once he leaves high school. My only request is, please don't gauge your ears.

Jeff, there are quite a few school and cultural rules that feel as if they came from the 1950s. I've asked the question and the answer is, "It's our rule, you don't like it, quit."

The catch 22 being if he quits he can't get into another high school because once you test into high school unless you physically move house you're not allowed to change schools. So he'd just be a drop out.

I wanted to send him to Omaha to go to high school because I knew all this would happen but my dad nixed that idea.

Jim, send them over!

Phillip Starr said...

Let me teach him to fart...

Kappa no He said...

Sifu, it's a deal.

Todd M. Shackelford said...


Kappa no He said...

In better news, the black hair looks good on him! He's got a lead-singer-from-Green-Day vibe about him now.

Gina said...

J does NOT have black hair to begin with. Look at that cute picture from when he was a kid. And I know you are a brunette, so am I, our hair does turns and lighten in the sun.

However like you said, you did color it over the Summer. But wow, they sure made a huge deal about it. Also the color he colored it, looked very natural.

You know...this high shcool thing has me worried. I know I have quite a few years to worry but it still worries me. : (