My Superpower, My Retirement Plan

This is an aeonium, a kind of cactus-like plant that originated in the Canary Islands. It grows green in the shade and turns dark purple in the sun.

My mother-in-law gave me a small cutting of one many years ago. She made great efforts to explain to me how expensive that cutting was. This single sprig would cost me hundreds of dollars at a flower shop. I thanked her profusely, went home and stuck it in the dirt.

These days this plant is the center of all our conversations, on the phone or in person. See, my mother-in-law has a very green thumb and I do not. Once I killed an orchid so expensive and so beautiful we all cried. And yet her aeonium has become this sad anorexic looking thing. And mine -- for reasons unknown -- has become this:

And this:


Even neighbors have stopped by to comment on my cactus growing super powers.

Pieces fall off and I stick them back in the ground. Two months later and I find this:

So last time my mother-in-law came over and our conversation naturally went to the aeonium, she began to calculate how much I could sell the little branches for. The idea was born. I don't need no stinkin' bank. I don't need no investments, no 401K (no, really, they don't even have those here). All I need is some dirt and a little rain.

Now, while researching this blog post I just discovered these things online cost like two bucks for a potful. We won't be telling my mother-in-law or my neighbors. Okay? My Plan B retirement plan is cat breeding.