Saturday, September 06, 2008

Busted! Busted!! and Best Eraser in the World!

That's a lot of exclamation points, yo.

Sorry, I've been away. A month or so ago I listened to an interview with David Simon or Ed Burns about their series The Wire. Being the impulsive buyer that I am, I went and ordered all five seasons. And yo, man, I am totally addicted (not unlike Bubbles and Johnny to their junk), yo.
So there might be a lot of 'yos' in here, yo? [*Note: no one is allowed to mention anything past season one. I'm not there yet.]


Today I watched a taxi pull up in front of our house, an old, angry woman get out and walk straight up to our door. I said, "I ain't answerin' it!" And thank goodness I didn't. It was our neighbor lady, sorta behind and in back of us, but her house is smack up against our fence. She was PO'd because we had some weeds from the tiny area between our house and our fence that were like threatening to devour her clothesline. Man, I felt bad. I don't even look out the windows on that side, yo. To make me feel worse I had lectured my family about Weed Duty just last week and was really planning on doing it tomorrow. Like she'd believe me. But we went right out and fixed it all up nice and pretty, braving crickets, mosquitos and spiders the size of my hand. While we worked she was out hanging her husband's boxer shorts on the line laughing like a woman possessed. Kinda creepy. And why did she take a taxi?


Later when we went shopping for groceries, I saw an old (like, in her eighties, yo!) woman get busted for shop lifting. It was so cool. I mean, just to watch it go down. I felt sorry for her, kinda. The security guard had called over a cop and they confronted her. She had a big purse in her cart and was slipping stuff in there. I was like poor old thing living on a pension, probably has a couple ungrateful kids that don't even come to visit, probably don't even call. But then I positioned myself near the tomatoes (to get a better eyeball, yo.--I learn so much from The Wire--). And I noticed she was stealing the good stuff. Like the ten-bucks-a-bunch grapes that I've never had the guts (nor the financial means) to buy! They had her in bracelets like, yo!

Best Eraser in the World!

J said he needed a new eraser for school. So his dad got him one of these.

It's an electric eraser. You push the white button and the little eraser head spins at an impressive speed and makes the satisfying (if not slightly anxiety-inducing) sound of a dentist drill. It erases real good, yo. J did three hours of homework and I suspect was making mistakes on purpose because there was a pile of eraser crud on the table when he was done. But boy was he happy.

And yes. Later I did try it on my teeth to see if


ORION said...

Love the photos! Love the name of your blog!
Very cool.
Would love to visit Japan as we have friends there and my book was just translated and released there.

Kappa no He said...

Thank you so much for stopping by. I've seen you over at AW and remember seeing your book (great cover!). I'll have to pick it up!

Anonymous said...

Well, if you're gonna go break the law, might as well not be half-assed about it. Steal the good stuff!


Pat said...

Dude, I think I won't be watching The Wire if that's how they talk. My coworkers already think I talk like a punk.

I used to have an electric eraser when I was a draftsman. It was wonderful, but then I've always been a little particular about my erasers. One of those OCD things...

laughingwolf said...

t, if yo never say yo agin, yo'll make me sooooooooo hoppy! :P lol


Hilary said...

Just as I suspected. You're a bit of a yo-yo. ;)

womaninawindow said...

Poor 80 year old criminal. You just never know who's going to get BUSTED!

The taxi to your house and the manical laughing...a little unsettling. I'd do her bidding too!

Kappa no He said...

J, I'm telling ya. I was drooling over some of the crap she had stuffed in there. Then she did the 'oboke' thing and tried to ignore them and walk away. THAT was a mistake.

Oh, Pat! I know. But,'s just sooo cool. I'm also working on that gangsta walk. I went to junior high school in an inner city kinda neighborhood. Yep, straight from Catholic school to kids getting knifed in the cafeteria. It's much 'cooler' when seen on TV.

Tony! {I know your name now (^o-)}
I will so try to stop, yo!

Hilary, spot on! As always!

Womaninthewindow, I'm tellin' ya. She scares me something fierce. She is up at four am every morning doing something with buckets and water. I'm thinking she's washing clothes by hand or maybe those are cauldrons and maybe that isn't water!

Anonymous said...

Hi Terrie = ) Truly funny.... Gesh.. what is AW? Its hard for me to keep up with all these acronyms. She should have seriously grabbed the good loot.. it makes ya wonder.

Poise Daily said...

how fast can an 80 year old woman possibly run? Nice blog, and a very fitting name.

Keep up the great work..

Kappa no He said...

Girl Japan, oh, that is Absolute Write a forum type thingy-ma-deal. They just installed those self check out lanes. I'm imagining I'll see a lot more of this in the future.

Poise Daily, v~e~r~y s~l~o~w~l~y. Ha!

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhhh.. I see it is a forum for writing.. got it. Cool beans. (omg is that so "betty" or what? hehe

Looks like our good friend G-Girl is BACK. Can't wait to see all her loot!

Thank you so much darling for helping me in my chair mantra-- yet still undecided. Cream is not WHITE.

Frank Baron said...

Well, you covered a lot of bases with this post and entertained me all along the way. :)

Never heard of The Wire but in reading a bit about it, it reminds me of my all-time favourite tv cop show: Homocide: Life On The Street (which was also set in Baltimore.)

If I can ever find that 25th hour in the day, I'll try to check it out. :)

Kappa no He said...

Girl Japan, *sniff* I've never seen Ugly Betty. But I do have a friend who says 'cool beans' and we admit it's a great line.

Frank, I have given up bathing to watch this show. Really.

laughingwolf said...

ye did give me yer own, so fair play, no? ;) lol

Kappa no He said...

I just started season two, many more ethnicities. You're in trouble now!


Kappa no He said...

I just started season two, many more ethnicities. You're in trouble now!


rebecca said...

yo, this post was slammin'!!!

okay, the angry neighbor needs to get back on her broom and stop bothering people. and, the elderly shoplifter needs a few lessons from some experts on how not to get noticed. 80s and shoplifting? she must have needed it. and they put her in handcuffs? how sad. was it necessary really? could she really outrun them or hurt them?

pretty funny post, kappa no he! yo!

Gina said...

Such an excellent post I don't even know where to start!

The Wire sounds excellent, I have never seen it. Maybe I should go check it out.

And yikes about your angry neighbor at your door. Yes, why the taxi. Ha ha ha. I wouldn't have answered it either. : ) I am so chicken! : )

Very very cool eraser, I tell ya, you always find the coolest things!

Poor granny busted for shoplifting. But stealing the expensive grapes??? Ha ha ha. I always buy the cheap grapes, lol!!! : )

Kappa no He said...

Thank you Rebecca, nothing I've ever done has been called slammin' before. You made my day! I was surprised at their ire myself. But then again the little old ladies here are quite a force of nature. I've had teams pass me at a quick trot on the way to the top of Mount Fuji.

Gina, I think I figured out she was probably coming home from somewhere else and just had the taxi stop in front of our house. I imagine she'd been debating coming over for quite sometime. Now, had it only be HER who they nailed at Jusco...

Mary Witzl said...

To see if what? Don't leave me hanging like that! Can I go out and buy one of those for my teeth or what?! I want one anyway, even if you can't use it to shine your teeth.

My first thought about your neighbor was that she must be insane to take a taxi that short distance. Or lazy and filthy rich. I'm scared we'll end up with neighbors like that one day. We've had an incredibly good run on neighbors and I'm wondering how long our luck can hold.

Kappa no He said...

Ha ha...yappari to shine my teeth. I really thought that was typed in there.

Good luck with the neighbors! Isn't it scary when you think it is sorta like having a roommate but is ain's so easy to apply for another.