Broken Husband

I think my husband is broken. Well, he breaks things. Electronic things. And not on purpose or anything either. He just uses them and they break, mysteriously. He walks into a room and appliances stop working, lights dim, and the computer your using begins to make a disgruntled buzzing noise.


Once we had a Sharp video camera and invariably every time he used it the darned thing would overheat. It got to the point where we'd take it in to the shop and they'd just hand over a new one. This happened three times before we decided to go for another maker. One that his super powers couldn't destroy so easily. So for years this has been a concern but nothing too expensive. There were always the warranties.


However, this past two months he's outdone himself. He's broken our TV, one of the speakers on the surround sound, the microwave oven, my laptop computer, the telephone and the region-free DVD player (a necessity for foreigners in Japan and bought with much fanfare and a covert trip to Akihabara).

So I told him what I thought -- that he's emitting something or sucking something, whatever it is it's wreaking havok on our appliances. He admitted that he suspected it himself but just didn't want to say anything. Later he turned a bit sad about the whole thing.

That's okay, I cheered him up good. I said, this weekend we would attempt sticking forks all over his body, and if my hunch is correct, we will invite the local TV station and newspapers over early next week. And then by Friday I can whip up a small circus tent and a sign charging a couple hundred yen admission. We can make enough just to cover getting the phone fixed, the TV repaired...the DVD player....

and maybe one of those new hybrid cars.

Note: I've learned something, we've come full circle. Television repairmen now make housecalls again!