Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Broken Husband

I think my husband is broken. Well, he breaks things. Electronic things. And not on purpose or anything either. He just uses them and they break, mysteriously. He walks into a room and appliances stop working, lights dim, and the computer your using begins to make a disgruntled buzzing noise.


Once we had a Sharp video camera and invariably every time he used it the darned thing would overheat. It got to the point where we'd take it in to the shop and they'd just hand over a new one. This happened three times before we decided to go for another maker. One that his super powers couldn't destroy so easily. So for years this has been a concern but nothing too expensive. There were always the warranties.


However, this past two months he's outdone himself. He's broken our TV, one of the speakers on the surround sound, the microwave oven, my laptop computer, the telephone and the region-free DVD player (a necessity for foreigners in Japan and bought with much fanfare and a covert trip to Akihabara).

So I told him what I thought -- that he's emitting something or sucking something, whatever it is it's wreaking havok on our appliances. He admitted that he suspected it himself but just didn't want to say anything. Later he turned a bit sad about the whole thing.

That's okay, I cheered him up good. I said, this weekend we would attempt sticking forks all over his body, and if my hunch is correct, we will invite the local TV station and newspapers over early next week. And then by Friday I can whip up a small circus tent and a sign charging a couple hundred yen admission. We can make enough just to cover getting the phone fixed, the TV repaired...the DVD player....

and maybe one of those new hybrid cars.





Note: I've learned something, we've come full circle. Television repairmen now make housecalls again!




8 comments:

Mary Witzl said...

This made me laugh. As I write this, our Aiwa music system tape deck has refused to shut; our microwave is no longer microwaving; our car's oil light will not go out; and a month ago, one of our computers blew up. Almost all of these items took a nose dive when my husband was using them. But I don't think it's a gender thing: the vacuum cleaner and the bread machine I have personally managed to hex. The iron is fine: neither of us ever uses it. That's the way to keep your appliances ship-shape: just don't use them!

Great news about the TV repair house calls!

Kappa no He said...

I think you may be absolutely correct. I've had my iron for eighteen years and it hasn't failed me once....the half dozen times I used it. Ha ha.

Oh, and don't get me started on the car!

Ello said...

That picture is too funny! And my hubby is very bad with electronics also. Weird how some men get it and some just don't!

Pat said...

I've often felt that I have a bad effect on electronics too, so I'm glad to hear someone else has the same problem! Then again, maybe it's a good thing...

Mary Witzl said...

Now I've got to know: where in the world did you get that picture, and what does it mean? You didn't have that up the last time I was here, did you? How could I have missed it!

My daughter said to tell you that she wants to know where that picture is from too!

Kappa no He said...

ello: Mine is actually pretty okay at fixing things and hooking things up, well, at least they work for a little while...

Pat: My version of this is trying to get anywhere. I get hopelessly disoriented as soon as I walk out the front door. Every single time. I guess we all have our Kryptonite. Ha ha.

Mary: They did some special here about a man with a magnetic body so I googled magnetic boy (I believe) and this fellow was all over the place!

Alas, the experiment did not work on my husband. Must be something else.

plaidearthworm said...

Funny stuff! My husband is just the opposite: broken or messed-up stuff will work for him, but no one else. This especially applies to computers. I think he's the microchip whisperer.

Virginia Lee said...

You know, as J enters puberty you may find this, erm, affliction my be genetic. You'll be lucky to keep ANYTHING working in your house.

:-O

What I don't understand about the magnetic man is how bricks enter into it. I had no idea that bricks could be magnetized in such a way.

Oh yeah . . .

BWAH ! ! ! :D