Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Problem with Me

I'm walking the dog. We get to the school. There is a small river that runs by the school. In it live ducks and carp and great white crane-like birds. I like this river. Every morning I make it a point to stand on the bridge and say hello to the ducks and the carp and the great white crane-like birds. I do so this morning.

I notice some teenager on a scooter parked up a ways but right next to the river. He is wearing a helmet and is furiously smoking a cigarette. I walk towards him knowing full well what he is going to do. My evil eye is building in intensity. And he does it. He flicks the cigarette into the water. I crack. I say, "ASSHOLE!" directly to him. And then an uneasy feeling comes over me.

He starts his scooter and rides down the bank towards me, towards me...

That is when it becomes clear. About the time he grumbles "Good morning" in my direction as he passes...it is one of my son's teachers.

Shit.

And not just any teacher but the one who while strict has always been so kind to me even when others have not.

6 comments:

jean said...

Oh, dear...

They're egrets (or herons). I love them, too.

Kappa no He said...

Thank you...sagi, shira sagi...and I was too lazy to get up and get my dictionary or even open another window on the computer and get a translation.

Anonymous said...

An old lady near where I lived in Kakegawa used to take two of those plastic shopping bags full of garbage, walk to the middle of the footbridge, and give them a heave. I tried to admonish her once, but she was senile. I should have known because she didn't even recognize me as a gaijin.
As for the teacher, you now have a hold on him. The next time you see him, just add "Green Japan" after your standard greeting. He will either catch on or be so embarassed that he'll ask for a transfer.
Just turned in grades for the semester. I've got a Yuengling open and Mott the Hoople on the big speakers. As soon as the wife's not looking, I'm going to sneak outside and fire up that nice cigar I've had stored away.
Happy Armed Forces Day!
imomomo

Hank Dart said...

I remember my mom and dad when I was young would announce that we were cleaning the car and then we proceed to throw all our trash out the window. My parents theory was that all the trash would work its way into a ditch. This was pre-indian-crying-public-service ad. Thankfully my parents have given up the practice.

jean said...

Laughing my ass off at Hank! Holy s***!!

Kappa no He said...

Imomomo: Eegads! Senile old women are the majority here. Last week I saw one with a plastic bag full of fried noodles (yakisoba) and she was dangling it into the water for the fish. That I let go. I love the Green Japan idea. I'll try it!

Also, last week was the Blue Impulse. I remember watching them with you guys near Aidy's house. You still have time to buy a ticket...think...beer gardens...kakikori...fireworks festivals...

Hank: That is absolutely marvelous! I bet that was a lot of fun for you kids. It was such a different life back then.

I had a grandfather who lived in Mississippi. He hated all the stray dogs. One day he decided he'd get rid of them by baking an entire pan of biscuits, poisoning them with something and then putting them in his garden. As it turned out the dogs didn't die, they just puked buckets all over his magnolia bushes. Boy was he fit to be tied.