Let Me Introduce: The Future!

I've been waiting for almost a year and a half for a postcard. Last month that postcard arrived. It announced that today I'd be among a chosen number of people (not unlike Charlie Bucket) who are allowed to buy a bousai radio, a disaster-prevention radio. Or for those who don't like that translation, a disaster-preparedness radio.

Basically, its job is to warn me when an earthquake is about to occur. Yes, only mere seconds before the devastation, but theoretically enough time to dive under the kitchen table and save my life.

Here is my absurdly simple understanding of how the thing works: before any large earthquake, primary waves shoot from deep within the earth; those waves are picked up by a bunch of scientists sitting and gazing raptly at their computers; one guy makes a phone call or two; another guy presses a large red button and voila' all the bousai radios in the area to be affected take notice and at full volume announce, "THERE'S GOING TO BE AN EARTHQUAKE. TAKE COVER!"

And this is what the puppy looks like.


This morning I took my postcard and my 1,200 yen (exact change, thank you) to the community center arriving fifteen minutes before it opened. That's okay there were already twenty elderly men and women outside, a postcard in one hand, money in the other. They looked just as excited as I'm sure I did. This was an event! (Despite there not being a single Gobstoppers to be seen.)

We were taken in and made to watch a video about things like lengthening the antennae, changing batteries, and making sure we placed it in a room where we're most likely to be.

I learned some interesting things. Not only do I get the pre-earthquake warning, but every day at 7:30 and 16:30 it will play music letting me know that it is indeed 7:30 and 16:30. Note: they do this anyway from speakers around town, but those are relatively far away and I barely hear them. So sometimes I'm not exactly sure when it's 7:30AM.

My device will also click on and promptly inform me of other important notices any time of the day or night. Again this is something that goes out via those speakers which I hardly ever hear. Now these news flashes are 99.9% of the time announcements from a family who has noticed that dear grandma or grandpa has wandered off and they don't have a clue where he/she is. I'll get a description of how tall the missing person is, what he/she is wearing, and any other vital information deemed important in their capture--"Last seen with beloved pooch, Koro."

If, the fireman explained to us, these broadcasts are too loud, we can put a cushion over the speaker. Remember, volume control goes to FULL when these bulletins come on. We cannot, however, turn the machine off. That would defeat the purpose, right?

Look, here it is again.

What I really like is how deceptively analog it is. Just get a load of those dial-y things.

Ha ha, you laugh now. But when the Japan-breaking Tokai Earthquake goes down, I'll be snug under my kitchen table most likely praying very enthusiastically that no fires break out nearby, oh, and also no tsunamis. Please no fires or tsunamis.

And also, that nuclear power plant they built down the road. The one they built ON the fault line, yeah, if that would just remain in tact, I'll be good.

Earthquake

Yesterday morning I woke up yelling "Earthquake!" And I was right. We were bouncing around on the futons to a 6.5 magnitude quake, the epicenter a little off our coast. It was around 5:00 am.

Here's a record of some of the damage around the house. My lead crystal vase, the one I filled with rocks (yeah, rocks) fell off the bar. Didn't break though. Still picking up them pointy, nearly invisible rocks though.


Luckily I'm a light sleeper and woke up with the initial shaking. I was sitting when the serious shaking began and my tower of books hit my pillow. Who knows, I might have been knocked unconscious by a Salman Rushdie tome. But then again if I'm gonna go...

Okay, I know, it doesn't look that bad.

The next picture is going to break your heart though. It's one of the bigger casualties that morning.

I give you Cha. J says he was jumping around the room like a frog and when J tried to grab him to calm him down he just, well, continued to jump around. After a much needed bowel emptying we put him in the living room with us where he immediately decided to hide in the safest place in the house -- the cats' litter box. Dogs instinctively know the safest place in the house.

Don't worry no beagles were unnecessarily harmed or mentally anguished in the making of this blog post. After I took the picture I picked him up, dusted him off, and cuddled him for awhile. That is until the thunder started and he really freaked out. Back to the cat box. (We also had a typhoon coming right at us yesterday. Fortunately, it found its mercy and veered off.)

The next picture is a little confusing. When I went to take a photo of J's room I felt compelled to announce in a loud voice, "Did we just have an earthquake or a tornado?" Much of that is what I call Pre-Earthquake Damage.

Around the city tiles fell, cement fences tumbled and grave stones shifted, but one of the biggest tragedies would probably be this. The Sapporo Beer Factory down the road lost more than 5,000 bottles of beer (and tea). (Edit to add: I learned later...just tea. Wew!)

But, truth be told, I'm depressed. The news has been saying this has nothing to do with the ginormous Tokai Earthquake that is due to hit here any day now. You know, the one that has hit on schedule every 100 years since the beginning of time. That one, they say, will be 180-200 times worse than this morning (an 8 on a scale that only goes to 7). Oh, and I was in a daze as they flashed fancy graphics of firestorms on the TV, but I could have sworn they said something about 10 million people dying in the thing.

Which leaves me wondering if I need to buy a bigger cat box...

Oh, Poop!

Almost one year ago I wrote this--a post about the earthquake that will end all earthquakes, the one that is supposed to occur right under my feet. (And if I'm to believe the rumor mill at the junior high school, it's supposed to happen some day this week.)

If there is one thing that has been learned from past earthquakes here in Japan, it is that preparation and good sense really do save lives and prevent nasty episodes of wide spread panic and rioting. The above post was mostly about one of the ingenious methods the city was using to attempt to spread useful information to the people: messages printed on toilet paper. For every couple of squares of TP there were printed pictures of emergency kits and what you should include in them, or maybe some information about how much bottled water per household member should be prepared. The basics.

This year the powers-that-be went and outdid themselves.

Last Sunday we had a local Sport's Day where everyone in our area participates in various outdoor events for fun and small awards. J and I pulled our weight at tug of war (lost brilliantly!), but we did get two rolls of toilet paper for our efforts.

This year's toilet paper takes surviving an earthquake to the next level. I mean what can you possibly teach a bunch of evacuees who already have their tent, their required 2.5 liters of water per person/per day and a working radio?

Poop.

(Those with weak stomachs may want to avert their eyes.)

I remember having to attend several Elimination Observation classes while I was pregnant with my son. I thought it was a tad disturbing the amount of time and energy (and specialized teachers) devoted to the art of BM watching. But then again what better sign to judge what the inside of our bodies are thinking? Especially an infant who can't tell you garlic-tinted breast milk gives him a tummy ache.

I'll pretend no one needs a translation of the above. Basically, it's about stress and the amount of water consumed and the (ahem) end result.

Speaking of stress, there are still more lessons to be learned from my new TP roll. How about the relaxing and healthful past time of shiatsu/massaging pressure points on the foot? Not sure what points do what? Just tear off a square and have at it!

Now, if you are still constipated, stressed out and feeling blue don't worry. A little farther down the roll and we have the piece de resistance--aromatherapy for evacuees! The instructions are simple, they tell you to fill a bucket with hot water, add a couple drops of various essential oils and soak your feet. Lavender if you have trouble sleeping, chamomile to help relieve your worries, or rosemary and jasmine to wake you up and make you feel great.

Now, I only have to remember to add essential oils to my emergency escape bag along with the batteries, flashlights, first aide kit, toothbrushes, ...

Tokai Earthquake Preparation

I do a little local radio show once a week. One of the main purposes is to help inform all English speaking expats who live in the Shizuoka area about the predicted Tokai Earthquake. It's supposed to be huge, devastating. In this area a big one hits every 100 to 150 years and here we are at like year 153 now. "Any day now" seems to be the mantra of Shizuoka-ites.

There are all sorts of ways to prepare, but here is a fun one. A friend and fellow radio DJ brought this if for one show.

It's toilet paper that has printed on each little fluffly square some tid-bit about earthquake preparedness.

Here it says that gasoline stands are built to withstand enormous earthquakes and they might be a good place to run if things start falling. Yea, right.

On this little piece it gives you a list of provisions you should have packed away in your Earthquake Bag. Things like: duct tape, food, flashlights, batteries, gloves, wet tissues, drinking water, and undy pants.
And this darling tells you that you should buy or make an emergency toilet.

I said this joke on the radio when we aired this show and I don't think I've been very funny since. It went something like... "So when you're sitting on the toilet waiting for the Big One you can read and learn all about the Big One."

Ba dum dum!